Yeah so I saw eternal sunshine of the spotless mind today, wow what an amazing movie, it's really sad becuase it brought back a lot of my own memory's and I was imagining myself being him and how I would feel, its so incredible sad....I guess. I had a dream last night...So there was me and there was this girl and I love her so much, but she was leaving me...I have no idea why...and I collapse and im grabbing her legs and begging her not to leave me, i'll do anything just please don't leave me please, and no matter what I said it wasn't enough like...somethings you just can't stop. Next thing I know I woke up crying and feeling completely alone, at least somethings never change. lol

Sometimes my chest hurts like....my heart physically hurts, and im wondering if this is what a broken heart means. I remember somebody once said to me "you love having a broken heart!" and it was the saddest thing anyone's ever said to me, and I couldnt say anything back, I just felt a lump in my throat and stared at them not knowing anything I could say. You never really know the impact of what you say to somebody will be, whether they will just discard it or it becomes one of those things they stay awake at night thinking about...you could totally change somebodys life without wanting or meaning to. IMPACT! maybe thats what that Against Me! song is about.